Lifestyle RepublicLifestyle Republic
  • The Daily
  • Features
  • Self Essentials
  • Culture
  • About Lifestyle Republic
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
Facebook Twitter Instagram
  • The Daily
  • Essentials
Lifestyle RepublicLifestyle Republic
  • Features
  • Culture
Lifestyle RepublicLifestyle Republic

The Oohs and Ahhs of Online Dating

Eve GarciaNovember 2012 Self Essentials
Share Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Email

Just a few years ago, the lines of communication during romantic courtship were simple (the biggest question was how long to wait before calling). Today, with texting, e-mail, chatting, social networking and myriad dating websites, it’s a veritable minefield: Take one wrong digital step and you’re toast.

All of this new technology requires an updated set of dating rules. After chatting with local singles, we devised the following do’s and don’ts of love in the age of Facebook pokes.

DON’T Ask for a first date via text message
“I’ve had that happen to me four times,” says Jordyn, 22, from Roosevelt Island. “I hate that. It makes them seem like they don’t have the balls to call.” Why cheapen the value of the first date by using an electronic medium for that?

DO Know Internet-dating protocol
Several years ago, 31-year-old Caroline from the West Village committed an online blunder that still gives her shivers. “I built my personals profile on a popular dating site, and I remember there were all these things you could check off that you were interested in,” she says. The choices were friendship, dating, relationship or play. “I thought, I like to play. That’s cool and maybe less threatening.” What Caroline didn’t know was “play” meant she was after no-strings-attached sexual encounters. E-mails immediately flooded her in-box. “I heard from all these creepy guys that were ‘winking’ at me.” The lesson? Dating sites are generally pretty intuitive, but when in doubt, ask a friend who’s been down that road before.

ADVERTISEMENT

DO Send a text after a great first date
It’s the morning after an amazing date and you’re on cloud nine. If your gut says it’s too soon to call, a short “I had a great time” text is a way to show interest without coming off as overeager. 31-year-old Brysen of Astoria thinks it’s the responsibility of the person who didn’t pay to send it. “It’s the gracious thing to do, to thank them for the date. I wouldn’t consider it an open-ended invitation to a second date, but I would think it’s classy.” We say either approach does the trick until a phone call is appropriate.

DON’T Break up with someone via text
Not all breakups require a face-to-face meeting. If you’re ending it with someone you met over the Internet and only dated twice, e-mail is fine. But dumping someone—anyone—over text is just plain cold and taking the easy way out (appropriate only in cases where there’s a history of verbal or emotional abuse). Our opinion: If you’ve been on more than five dates, let your mouth -— not your fingers -— do the dumping.

DO Play it cool when e-mailing a crush
You mustered all your courage and sent a flirty e-mail. Twenty-four hours later, still no response, and you’re riddled with more anxiety than a Bachelorette waiting for the final rose. 37 year-old Marcus says a good rule of thumb is to wait a couple of days, then e-mail one (and only one) more time. “Otherwise, you run the risk of looking desperate, clingy and codependent.” Ultimately, no response is an answer, too.

DON’T Be an IM stalker
There are normal ways to stalk and borderline-weird ways (inviting someone you barely know to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram/InstaDM and obsessively initiating chat sessions when they’re online). Knowing the difference will separate you from the panty sniffers and bunny boilers.

“There was this guy in my building whom I made no indication to that I was interested,” says 35-year-old Kharissa of Hollis. “All of a sudden he started acting funny. The next morning, he said he read my Facebook status, which was a comment about how I can’t date guys who are more sensitive than me, and he assumed it had something to do with him. Please, don’t be so narcissistic that everything I do has to be about you.” He made things worse by issuing rapid-fire apologies and retractions over e-mail and text until Kharissa filed him under “clown/regular n@#%a” and told him to cease all contact.

DO Create an attention-grabbing profile (but not too attention-grabbing)
If you’re dating online, you’re competing with hundreds of other singles. What grabs attention and gets people to click (or not)? Your screen name and photo, so make them work for you. Avoid handles that are generic, creepy or pornographic. When it comes to photos, keep it to five or fewer (anything more looks conceited), be sure to include a clear head shot and full-body pic in the mix, and know that “recent” generally means less than a year old. And finally, be warned: A picture says a thousand words, indeed, but if it’s one of you shirtless, those words all read “chode.” (Girls, you’re not exempt—resist posting those of the bikini-and-bathroom milieu, too.) “Keep in mind that what may appear attractive to one person may not be attractive to someone else,”

DON’T Get caught up in Facebook “relationship status” drama
Nate says a girl he was only casually dating ambushed him by asking him to confirm her Facebook declaration that they were in a relationship. After two weeks of resisting, he finally succumbed. And when they broke up a few months later, it was front-page news for his friends. 24 year-old Stacy also says that if one partner is forcing the issue, there may be something bigger at play. “As a therapist, I want to know why it’s important to make it public. Are there feelings of insecurity or jealousy? Do you want to communicate to someone else that this person belongs to you?”

Take a tip from us: If you do have to change your status, it doesn’t have to be a bulletin broadcast. Visit “privacy settings” for your news feed and wall, which allow you to select which of your updates will publish to your friends’ news feeds.

Join The Lifestyle Republic Newsletter

Get the latest news from TLSR straight into your inbox.

Share. Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Pinterest Email

More from Lifestyle Republic

Traveling In-Flight Beauty Essentials

Sean “Diddy” Combs introduces new limited-edition CÎROC Honey Melon spirit

Rules You Must Follow To Take Care of Your Skin on an Everyday Basis

Sydney Sweeney stuns in Frankies Bikinis 2023 Campaign

Lana Del Rey is a bohemian bride for Interview Magazine March 2023

Lori Harvey is cool for Kith’s Spring 2023 Campaign

Exes+Owes Podcast
The Date Sheet: Exes + Owes
The Date Sheet: Exes + Owes

Join veteran Television Producer / Award-Winning Photographer Chuck Holliday and Film Producer / Media Personality Shanda Foster as they discuss post-dating self awareness, avoiding toxic environments, relationship PTSD and CSS (“common sense s@#t”) in this happy hour format podcast.

Listen OnApple PodcastsListen OnGoogle PodcastsListen OniHeart RADIO
In Public (Nah, Right?)

Chuck Holliday and Shanda Foster discuss how many times is enough to accept a man’s cheating ways, why toxic energy is accepted over normalcy, the many red flags that are ignored in dating, and why men refuse to post women (and vice versa) on social media. (Season 1 Finale)

Produced by Chuck Holliday and Shanda Foster
Theme Music: “Peruvian Vacays” by Versa Jay Beats
Show Page: www.suite929.tv/podcasts/exesandowes

In Public (Nah, Right?)
Episode play icon
In Public (Nah, Right?)
Episode Description
Episode play icon
No Scrubs
Episode Description
Episode play icon
You're Makin' Me…Low
Episode Description
Search Results placeholder

Currenty Trending

Motivator, Athlete and Life Changer: Fabian Thorne

ATHLETE TURNED ARTIST PAINTS A NEW FUTURE: MARK ANTHONY HILL

Traveling In-Flight Beauty Essentials

The Pitbull of Boxing Fabiano Pena Packing a Championship Punch

Bella Twins rid themselves of WWE…and the Bella name

Sean “Diddy” Combs introduces new limited-edition CÎROC Honey Melon spirit

Features

Motivator, Athlete and Life Changer: Fabian Thorne

Diverse Producer / Filmmaker Gal Yefet Goes Global

February 2023

Artist David Craig Ellis is at it Again

February 2023

Imaginary Artist Looking to Expand her Talents

February 2023

   
About Lifestyle Republic  •  Contact Us  •  Privacy Policy  •  Corporate Website
© 2023 Lifestyle Republic, a unit of Suite929 LLC

OUR PUBLISHING NETWORK:
Suite929tv   •   Firm Biz   •   Tech We Like   •   G Style Magazine   •   The 9ine Podcast Network

Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie SettingsAccept
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT