You’ve got The Rules, The Code, the different planets from which men and women come…all those tips and tricks to land a man or woman are more likely to land you in hot water – alone. Here are some tips that you might hear over and over – but probably won’t land the mate of your dreams. First, The Rules came along to show women how they should act in relationships and applied rigid standards to a potential mate. For example, the book advocated dating for only one year before getting engaged. After that, the authors claim, you should stop waiting and start looking elsewhere for a mate. That’s a pretty relationship-changing piece of advice, and one that’s not really based in fact or takes in personal circumstances. On the more trivial side, the book admonishes women to end phone calls and dates first. Going dutch on a date was also a no-no, which is a decision best left to the people involved in the date. The book tackles the obvious as well, like not expecting a man to change for you – nor should you for him – and covers not rushing into sex, which is probably a good rule.
Many books advocate turning down a last-minute date request, with the premise that it makes the person accepting the date look “desperate.” While you don’t want to be a “sure thing” every time he calls, it’s totally fine to accept a date at the last minute if you want to go. When it comes to ordering food, many dating guides advocate ordering the stereotypical salad or other light dish. But you should feel free to order what you want – within reason. If someone else is paying for your meal, it’s polite to stay in the price range of whatever he or she is ordering. Don’t get caught up in the “calculations” and accepted timelines of dating – that includes waiting to call or contact your date, money matters, or having sex. The truth is, there’s no magic formula, game, code, book or whatever the “relationship gurus” call it for a successful relationship.