Catfishing, breadcrumbing, ghosting, there are so many different terms for the modern dating world, each with their own specific meaning. There’s no wonder dating has become so overwhelming and complicated. What exactly is bombing, and how can you tell if you’re a victim? They shower a person with excessive attention and affection to gain control or significantly influence their partner’s behavior. While you might think that over the top attention is a good thing, the real motive behind their bombing scheme isn’t. It’s all about manipulating someone, and there is often a drastic switch between them idealizing you and then putting you down to control you.
Narcissists will often bombard you with constant messages and phone/video calls, demanding all of your time and attention. If this is present from the early stages of dating, it is a massive red flag, especially if it’s feeling one-sided and overwhelming.
Here are a few ways how you can handle a relationship with someone who is obsessed with Narcissist Bombing.
Remain a positive light
Two negative energies are just a disaster waiting to happen. It’s a lot to ask to be positive ALL the time, but for the most part, remain a positive light in your relationship. Hopefully, your positive energy will rub off on your partner in some cases. You might find it difficult to not judge someone who’s continuously negative: “Why can’t they just stop?” It’s not always that easy. It is because this is essential to their scheme. Maybe you will end up learning something new about yourself from the situation, or perhaps you found out the type of person that definitely isn’t for you.
Be Firm About How You Set Boundaries
Narcissist bombers like to be in control, so when you try to set any boundaries or tell them something they don’t like the sound of with their displays of affection, they will become frustrated and continue to try and manipulate you until they get what they want. They expect you to simply accept their overwhelming displays of affection, not reject it, so they can also lash out when this happens. Terms like “gaslighting” are usually their bread and butter to use when they feel they can’t control a situation that has created boundaries set on them. They might even get aggressive in public to show their penchant for control.
At the end of the day, think of yourself
You can only do so much to deal with someone who mentally feels like they are always right 100% of the time. At the end of the day, if your partner’s narcissist ways is seriously impacting your life, you have to take a step back and think if it’s worth it long term. You shouldn’t risk your own happiness if your partner is making no effort to change. That might mean taking a break or it might mean breaking up altogether. That is a decision you have to come to on your own, but it’s important not to forget about yourself.
Be Prepared For The Fallout After The Split
Someone who didn’t get their way with their narcissistic behavior and can’t believe you didn’t go along with their scheme isn’t going to get over it overnight. They need time to put you in their rear view mirror. Even if you’ve tried everything to avoid any contact with them, you need to be prepared for them to constantly find ways to create chaos in your life past the split. We all grow and change at our own pace, and you can’t force someone to change their mindset if they aren’t ready to. This could result in things like phone calls out of the blue at 4AM to argue about things from months past, commenting in a negative light on your social media post after weeks of non-contact, or breaking into your email account. This behavior sometimes stretches as long as a full calendar year from the date of the split.
You’re Constantly Having To Convince Yourself You’re Happy
You may find yourself making excuses to try and convince yourself you’re happy. In relationships or even dating, this can be anything from finding reasons for certain behaviors or thoughts, blatantly ignoring red flags or warning signs that things aren’t right. This could take years to come to that realization.