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When Platonic Relationships Might Not Be So Platonic

TLSR StaffJune 2013 Self Essentials
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Do you have a friend who lately seems like they might want to be more than just a friend? Are you having a hard time figuring out just how platonic your friendship might be? Navigating any relationship can be difficult, but there a few fairly reliable ways to figure out if your friendship could be headed to the next level.

The first thing you need to think about is how you and your friend communicate, as this can often be the key to your true feelings.

Communicating With Your Friend
First, ask yourself: How do we communicate? Do you email, text, call or primarily talk in person? Each method of communication has its own level of intimacy. If you find yourself on the phone with your friend just to exchange basic information that could be sent through text or email, there may be something to that.

If you’re using any excuse you can muster to hear his or her voice, there’s a good chance one of you wants more than just friendship. The more intimate the mode of communication the more intimate you probably want to be.

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Next, you’ll need to consider how often you communicate. Emailing and texting might not be super intimate, but if you’re doing it all the time, your relationship could definitely be slipping outside the lines of platonic. Do you find any excuse you can to text your friend? Do you email them when you discover something just a little bit funny online or you have a question about “that one movie with that one guy…”? Are they doing the same? These are big clues that you want to be more than friends.

Paying attention to how you keep in touch with a friend is a great way to see if you might want to make out more than just hang out. Keep tabs on how you keep tabs on each other and you’ll be one step closer to determining where you stand.

After you’ve considered how you communicate with your “platonic” friend, the next part of your relationship to examine is your level and nature of physical contact. In other words how often and where do you touch? Body language holds many answers for friends who might secretly want to be more.

First, ask yourself, how do you touch? Does your friend find any excuse to touch you? Have there been many times that they’ve “accidentally” brushed your arm or leg, or touched your hair? Do you find yourself doing the same? If so, chances are that there is some physical chemistry brewing under the surface. If you’re unsure of where your relationship stands start paying attention to how you touch one another and you’ll likely find some answers as to whether you are more than just friends.

Next, consider what’s going on with your body language. How close do you sit to one another? Do you turn your bodies towards each other? Are you often touching yourself (hair, lips, face)? The more you’re facing each other and touching yourself, the more you’re likely projecting what you want to happen – in other words, being close to them and touching.

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