It’s gross but perhaps not surprising that Duggar matriarch Michelle’s latest musings on the subject of pleasing your man sexually involve just letting him do his thing, whenever, wherever Shakira-style basically. In the first of three tips on a successful marriage she’s shared on the Duggar family’s blog recently, Michelle is inspired by advice from a “dear friend” who told her this: “Anyone can iron Jim Bob’s shirt, anybody can make lunch for him…. You are the only one who can meet that special need that he has in his life for intimacy. You’re it.” And when she says “it,” she basically means vagina. And so yes, this means she’s there whenever he needs “that special need,” which is sexy, just to clarify, not that she goes as far as to use the s-word in public, thank you very much. Her advice is as follows:
“And so be available, and not just available, but be joyfully available for him. Smile and be willing to say, ‘Yes, sweetie I am here for you,’ no matter what, even though you may be exhausted and big pregnant and you may not feel like he feels. ‘I’m still here for you and I’m going to meet that need because I know it’s a need for you.'”
There’s lots of ways to please your man inside (or outside!) the bedroom, sure, but sex entirely for someone else’s fleeting pleasure (as Michelle’s writing here makes it very clear she’s getting very little, at best, out of the experience, not that she could probably admit otherwise) is not really the point! It’s the opposite of the point actually; it’s way past the point of compromise — because also, a partner who doesn’t take note of when you’re not in the mood, or doesn’t want to make you enjoy the ~sexual experience~ is doing it wrong also. What I mean here is that they should, when noticing you falling into bed exhausted after a long day of watching the kids, as Michelle says, or you know, running the world, say something like “can I run you a bubble bath?,” “want a scalp massage?,” “Ice cream is in the fridge,” or at least “don’t worry, I set the DVR to record How To Get Away With Murder.” It should not be something like “Can I bust a nut real quick? Don’t worry, I’ll do the work,” even if that is the way God intended. (Which, incidentally, it’s not.)
It’s, unfortunately, probably a bit too idealistic to expect every quickie to check all your sex boxes, (but hey, perchance to dream). But the advice here sets a dangerous and detached precedent from the act at hand or foot or whatever member(s) are in the mix. Granted, for the Duggars it will be a single quivering Quiverfull penis doing its job and nothing more, but still.
