There’s no script for attraction. One man gathers what another man spills. But some things can be agreed upon, generally. Like the fact that people who don’t read at all tend to be boring, or that we prefer to date women who don’t make frequent reference to their ex-boyfriends. Here are 5 phrases heard on dates enough times to know that they’re warning signs. Proceed with caution.
Perhaps it’s an unfair characterization, but it’s one that sticks nonetheless: Grown women who are obsessed with animals, whether dogs, cats or what have you, lack a fundamental maturity. We’re not saying you shouldn’t love your pets like they’re your family — we get that, it’s real. But the woman who still dreams of being a vet even though she works in PR — not realizing that being a vet takes years of training and is ultimately a highly demanding and messy job having very little to do with cuteness and furry cuddles — seems kind of like an overgrown 8-year-old.
Maybe this is just an example of clear and effective communication, because when a woman tells us how much we’d get along with her friend over there at the other end of the bar, we can only assume she’s trying to set us up with the friend. We take it as a reasonably well-articulated statement that she is not interested and would rather we bother her friend instead. If this is what women mean when they say this, then great, we’re all on the same page.
Unless we’re meeting at Burning Man, and we’re wearing apparel that involves either papier-maché or fake fur (or both), let’s agree to leave astrology out of the conversation. We don’t want to be told we’re exhibiting signs of a “classic Scorp” 10 minutes after meeting a woman. Nor will we be impressed if it turns out that her sign and our sign are “really compatible.”
If we wanted to meet like-minded religious folks, we’d join a faith-based dating service. As it is, we’re sitting here in a secular establishment, and whatever religion we may belong to, we’re not going to assume that you’re interested right now. Please make the same assumption for us. There’s a time and a place, and the bar is neither.
It’s wonderful to have a partner who’s sex positive, but you don’t necessarily want to talk about your likes and dislikes on the first date. You’ll discover each other’s sexual proclivities soon enough; you just don’t need to hear an explicit proclamation over the salad course.